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How is fisting possible

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As sex educators we get asked this question a lot, from both men and women who want to experience the intensity of fisting.

Like any sex act, the experience of fisting depends way more on the attitude and intentions you bring rather than the act itself.

Forget that image and instead think about the slow introduction of one finger at a time, gradually opening up the vagina and only introducing more fingers when she is ready.

One or two fingers usually fit inside nicely, but when you go bigger than that you need to learn how to wedge your hand. Start by tucking your ring and index finger on top of your middle finger — see how that creates a nice pyramid shape?

Then fold in your pinky and thumb to create the most compact shape you can. You may have to stretch and massage your hand to increase flexibility so you can tuck your hand in more tightly!

When first learning how to fist, use lots of lube and just take it one finger at a time. Then put her in charge of clitoral stimulation so you can focus on penetrating her.

The most intense part is getting past the knuckles at the base of the fingers. Wait for the vagina to expand and invite you in. Once inside, remember that really tiny movements will create a huge amount of sensation.

Wiggle your hand gently, move in small circular movements and graze your knuckles against the cervix. Notice what she responds to and follow her lead about what kind of movements she likes best.

Learning how to fist can be a fun, hot and sexy exploration. Take it slowly as you explore this intense sex act, and remember, penetration never has to hurt, no matter if it is one finger or a whole fist!

Foreplay Mastery Online Course. Please note: this transcript was auto-generated by software. We hope it is useful to the hard of hearing community and anyone else who could benefit from a text version of the podcast.

We offer expert advice and practical strategies so you can experience more sexual pleasure. We use explicit language and nothing is taboo.

You can submit a question at pleasuremechanics. My wife often enjoys a fuller hand job. Are there good quality vaginal plugs I guess similar to a butt plug that would be better, or will I eventually manage a full hand given enough arousal and time?

Thanks so much for all the cool info. All the best. CMR: We think everyone can have an amazing sex life no matter what their orientation! Ha ha ha, just kidding!

We believe everyone deserves a fabulous sex life and thank you for your question. Men and women both can enjoy it, but I think that deserves its own podcast way down the road perhaps.

And of course this can involved a male or female hand. CMR: Well endowed! And this comes from the idea that your hands can be a great phallus, a great tool to penetrate your lover with if you do it right.

There is no pussy punching here. You instead introduce your fingers one by one and slowly stretch the vaginal walls to the point where you can slip your whole hand inside.

Some people do like a gentle pulsing motion with the hand in this shape, but that will be particular to the woman.

Yeah, and fisting is one of these acts that can be thought of as really intense and extreme, sort of like anal sex is sometimes.

CMR: Right, like all sex acts, the experience comes from the attitude you bring and the intention you bring, not the act itself.

And when you get down to it it really is just penetration. So a lot of women enjoy the sensation of being really filled up and fisting is one way to get that sense of being full, a lot of internal pressure and a lot of women find that highly arousing.

CR: One concern people have about fisting is that it will stretch the vagina, and it will, but that will just be temporary. The vagina as we know is designed to be able to take an enormous baby coming out of it, but it is designed to return to its natural size.

CMR: Definitely. The other piece to think about here is preparation. So definitely we recommend having a high quality lubricant on hand, so to speak.

This is a kind of juicy, messy, activity so be prepared to get slick. Some people enjoy using gloves for fisting because it smoothes out the rough edges, creates another level of protection and barrier.

And some women prefer the sensation of a hand with a glove on. CMR: Yeah. You never want to cause your body pain in the name of pleasure.

And you know think of it like a really good massage. CR: Yeah any time you reach an edge that feels questionable, you can always just hold still there or pull back out slightly, and keep stimulating the clitoris, keep creating more arousal, and then edge back again.

CR: Yeah. And just to second that- the full body massage, the butt massage, all of that is especially important in these sorts of acts because the body really has to be relaxed in order to receive that kind of penetration.

So absolutely- full body massage is a great way to begin these sorts of acts. CMR: Seduce her entire body.

And one really good thing to do here is put her in charge of clitoral stimulation. So encourage her to touch her own clitoris while you focus on the penetration.

That way she can bring herself as much arousal as she wants to continue to build arousal as you go inside her bigger and bigger. CR: Perfect.

Then she can go at the rate that she wants, the kind of pressure that she wants…. You know, multitasking is great, but sometimes you really just want to focus your erotic attention on one thing at a time and have it be a team sport.

Put her in charge of the clitoris and you just focus all of your attention on your fingers in her vagina and what you are feeling there.

And the other thing I want to say here is this is a moment to really drop your attention into your fingers.

Notice what your fingers are feeling. Notice the sensation of the tissues and pay exquisite attention. I love this. This is one of my favorite things about sex with women- is the sensations of the vagina opening and responding to your touch and it can be just a really exquisite dance.

So what is her breathing doing, what is her body doing, how are her sounds? CR: Cause there really is vaginal tension that you can feel and that is a point when you feel that- that you pull back.

And I think this is one of the things we said about it being like a serene meditation. When you go to two fingers, usually what happens is you press the first and second finger together and you move them together and you have a nice broad surface.

When you start going to three or four fingers and this is especially important for bigger handed men, but we can all do this you want to start folding your hand into more of a point rather than just having your fingers splayed next to each other.

CR: Like a tripod. And this is a great position to start introducing three fingers in. The key to proper fisting is to stay in the mood.

The more aroused and relaxed you are, the better chance you have of nailing this act says Kerner. So start slow with some touching, kissing, massaging, oral, or whatever, before you go deep.

He'll want to bundle his fingers together to form a beak-like shape as he continues to maneuver his hand in, says Kerner.

At this point, you can encourage your partner to use his thumb to hit the clitoris for stimulation because yessssss , while his three fingers stroke the G-spot.

Take It Further For many couples, having three fingers inside the vagina is enough. Then, slowly and gradually he can move deeper, inserting his knuckles and eventually the wrist.

Once his hand is fully inside you, he can try to expand his fingers to provide different types of stimulation such as using his knuckles to hit the G-spot or turning his hand if it feels good, says Kerner.

He suggests calling in backup such as a sex toy, his other hand, or even oral to hit the spot. Talk Him Through It You've gotta keep communicating about what feels good and what doesn't, says Kerner.

Kerner says to have him focus on slower, gentler movements as opposed to thrusting like a penis. Scratching or too much thrusting in your vagina can be dangerous, says Kerner.

And if you're feeling anything more than slight discomfort, shut it down. If you're just slightly uncomfortable, add more lube. Weight Loss.

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How Is Fisting Possible

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